| Fussy backgrounds. More is better. |
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| Underlined text not representing links |
 Pictures that are links |
Buttons that are links but have no writing on them. Even better if they move. And don't stand still when you hover over them. These balls were quite popular in 2001.
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| Different fonts |
| Text in different colours |
| Page titles such as "Untitled Document" |
| A visitor counter |
| Boxes to click on before the site loads. A very fine example I found requires no less than two:
Interestingly enough, I got this despite viewing on an ancient 1024 x 768 monitor, with the display set to "True Colour (32 bit). Surely I shouldn't have received this warning. Clicking "OK" yields another warning:
This is really ridiculous. Change your website, boy! I am not throwing out my monitors for you. |
| Pages should be really, really long. With way too much stuff on them. |
| At least one scroll bar has to be present.
But some more is better of course. |
Frames. More is better. Scrollbars in all. The best frames don't fit the screen and have scrollbars going in both directions!
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| A nice big fat table |
Rollover images. Look in my fridge!
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| Thumbnails that haven't been scaled down so it still takes an eternity to load the page. |
| Broken links. As always, the more the merrier. And it's even better when your webhost uses the opportunity to sell their services to your visitor. |
| Mentioning dates without the year, or similar references to events that may or may not have passed. "At the time of writing I am 45 years old, but 46 is just around the corner." But this was written in 2003. You work it out. |
Welcome to my site
To enter please click here |
| Microsoft Comic Sans |
Flashing GIF's. Big GIF's. Pointless GIF's. Here's an annoying one to whet your appetite for more. It's also huge, so will take a while to load. 
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Errors. There's nothing to make you feel welcome like a nice error page with nothing else on it. The more obscure the error, the better.
Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a01a8'
Object required: 'rsArticle'
/content.asp, line 340
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Under Construction! Like we really Care!
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| A link to Google. No self-respecting antique is complete without a link to Google. How else would someone else be able to find Google. Nobody would know how to find Google otherwise. http://google.com/ |
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